Warning: There is some personal content in this post. If you, dear reader, don’t like this type of posts, you can indulge yourself in a part two of the how to play bagpipe tutorial.
My desire for going on an adventure… Let’s do this differently.
The unknown. It’s a slightly stress inducing concept. Perhaps even fear inducing. I can also add a bit of anxiety to the mix.
I find security in the known. I can almost say it’s tranquil. I believe I’m not the only one feeling this. I don’t usually have to fear the known. It’s predictable, routine. I can almost take it on even if I’m on auto-pilot. There is an occasional bump in the know, but I can easily think of it as an nuisance. I, however, found that once the unknown slowly became the known.
The everyday life provides me with a certain level of comfort. It provides me with running water, electricity, food and internet among all others. And I know where I’ll sleep tonight. The way I travelled up until now is only slightly different. I always knew where I’d sleep the next night. And I knew I’d have running water and food in the morning.
But I also find the everyday life stressful. And again I don’t think it’s just me feeling like this. Travelling was always my escape as I never really felt comfortable in the everyday life. I always had to play too many roles, there were too many people and too many chores.
Travelling made me feel nice. I wasn’t playing many roles. I was more me.
This concludes the introduction to this post (»The introduction?« I can hear the reader screaming). Just kidding. 😉
When I started to seriously consider participating in the Mongol Rally I soon found many obstacles. It’s just that the rally is quite long. And it take a long time to complete. The obvious problem is the amount of the annual leave I have. It’s also very expensive as it lasts that long. And I’d really need a co-driver. During the event I’d probably have to ask for help either other participants or complete strangers. There’s also a lot of bureaucracy as I’d need visas and would have to cross many borders. Did I mention I hate bureaucracy? I’d be driving on some really dangerous roads with other dangerous driver on them, and I’d drive an unreliable car without aircon. Which is not at all potentially heat stroke inducing in the hot deserts. The more I was think the more doubt had set in my mind.
But the biggest fear of all were – people. This one was very resilient. It just wouldn’t go away. I don’t really like to cooperate/collaborate with others, you see. I don’t poses the superpower of patience and I don’t have the skills for the intricate dance of socializing.
An individual must first earn my trust. This, unfortunately, usually takes a lot of time. I also have quite high expectations and I can be quite annoying. All this could prove to be too much if I wanted to join forces with a stranger.
If Mongol Rally was only a trip I wouldn’t really think twice. If I was going solo, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. It would be just so much simpler if someone I know would join me.
I love a good challenge regardless. They force me to push my limits and provide me with an opportunity to grow. Past stressful thing are now just a challenge. And things I used to fear now provide me with a lot of joy.
I already knew I’d need to push myself even before I started to seriously consider going on this adventure. I was well aware I’d need to let go of the everyday stuff and that I’d need to do thing I’d otherwise never do. I knew I’d have a lot of challenges to conquer even before the official start.
I recent times the constant thinking and decision making is really tiring for me, unfortunately. I realised (not soon enough) I already wasted a lot of time thinking about the Mongol Rally. I was wasting my energy for thinking about stuff I didn’t have any influence on (yet?) . There were too many fictional stories in my had. Stories which (probably) would never happen in real life. I wasted too much time trying to answer question only others had answers to.
As it’s often the case with many things it all comes down to how much I want something. If I really want (to achieve) something, I will. The easy way or hard way. Sometimes there’s a great price to pay. But I always do it without regret. It’s all worth it as there’s always a great reward – experience and knowledge.
I only need to make a decision – either I go or I don’t.